Writing A Love Letter To Yourself
I’ll never forget the moment when someone asked me to write a love letter to myself. It was day two of an intense two-day management training, + I had already cried during day one. As a yoga teacher, studio manager + teacher-training leader, I am used to being vulnerable in front of others. I often tell personal stories to my students during class, + share of my darkest moments during teacher trainings. But to be vulnerable with myself + in the presence of my senior colleagues was a whole new level.
I opened my notebook as instructed + wrote the words…
“Dear Kristine, I love you.”
I started crying immediately. I didn’t just feel a few tears in my eyes, I felt an explosion within. It was as though my truest, most authentic inner being had been waiting a long time to hear those words.
So you might be wondering why I suggest you do this! Why would I want any of you to cry while you’re at home, possibly alone, writing a love letter to yourself.
Writing a love letter to yourself is a necessary step towards understanding love. You cannot truly love others — you cannot give to this world — until you give to yourself. Until I wrote this love letter, I had no idea that there was a part of me I was neglecting. I was aware of the difference between ego + love, I knew we all had a highest Self + a small self, but it was this love letter that made me understand how much love was always inside of me. This love was waiting patiently, knowing I would embrace it at the right time, + that it would offer me a perspective unlike any other.
Now, you might write a love letter to yourself + require no tissues at all. + If that’s true, that could mean one of two things. First, you + your highest Self already have a strong bond. You likely have an open + flowing heart Chakra, which allows you to give + receive love freely. You’ll likely feel very warm + uplifted when you read your letter. Congrats to you! You are doing wonderfully + I’m so happy for you!
However, if you write your letter + feel satisfied, but not emotional, you may want to set your ego aside + try again. Our egos tend to tell us what we already know, + this exercise is about uncovering what you might not know yet. Our egos like to surround ourselves with stories about traditional measures of happiness, success + love. Here’s an example: Your ego might write the words “I love you Sarah, because you have found the person of your dreams.” Whereas your intuition//highest Self will tell you, “I love you Sarah. We are enough. I am worthy. I willingly give + receive love. Our love attracts our the right people into our lives.” Do you see the difference? Self-love is not a defined check-list set for us by society + “traditional measures of success.” Love is within us all, it is organic, it is divine, it is what unites us all. The more you can connect with the love already within you + ditch the society norms, the more you will authentically love you. Phew.
What I recommend is trying this exercise by yourself first. Give yourself at least an hour + make sure you’ll be uninterrupted. Put your phone on do-no-disturb + find a happy place; your bedroom, a cozy couch, somewhere outdoors. Pick your favorite journaling method + get comfy. Start with a few cleansing open-mouth exhales, allow the self-judgement to pass, + start to write. Think less about what you should say + let your inner voice speak. Uncover the beautiful layers of yourself that have been there all along.
If you have a rose quartz crystal, you can hold it in your opposite hand or keep it close by. This is the stone of compassion + will help your heart open up. Be 100% OK with whatever words appear. If you feel your ego wanting to speak, let it know it’s on timeout + you’ll be with it later. Once you’re finished with your letter, be sure to sign your note, thank yourself, + place your note somewhere where you can see it everyday.
This might be a great place to stay, but if you want more… find a mirror. Stare deep into your eyes + read your letter aloud at least once, maybe twice or three times… ++ believe it. I do some version of this almost every day. It was scary at first, but now I can’t help smiling. Over time, your love letter might evolve into a condensed San Kalpa or Mantra, + that is fine. You might consider writing to yourself every six months or whenever we have a full moon + our emotions are heightened.
Heck, you might even find yourself in a room someday with like-minded individuals, guiding them through this very exercise + sharing your own transformative journey. Imagine that.