When something comes around that we really, truly care about [like reaching a fitness goal or acing an exam], the thoughts surrounding it aren’t always easy to keep positive. Whether it’s a personal situation or a goal we feel pressured to achieve, it can be hard to accept when something maybe doesn’t go as planned. We love the challenge of pushing ourselves to our limits, but sometimes, it can become too much, ++ that’s okay. We support our friends + family when they are being too hard on themselves — why is it different for us? It’s easy to fill your head with thoughts of regrets + unkind words — the real challenge is shifting the negative self-talk into #positivevibes.
We are growing + changing every single day. Life is happening around us. Timelines fall through. We set standards for ourselves, + that’s a great thing! But it’s so necessary to remember that these standards are not *black + white*. While the bigger picture may seem farther + farther away after a slip up, each day that you accept the small, love yourself, + look forward with a positive outlook, the happier your journey will be.
Here are four ways to make the shift + start practicing positivity toward the girl in the mirror:
1] TAKE CONTROL
It is important to recognize where this harsh talk is coming from. When do you find yourself putting on too much pressure? While we all go through it from time to time, this is something that’s important to make personal — what happens to you + what matters most to you may not be the same to others. You are unique. What is a trigger for you? Knowing this ahead of time can put us in control + make us feel better about the future after the incident. We can shift the negatives into positives if we focus our criticisms on reaching out future goals, ++ nobody knows you better than you.
2] KNOW WHEN YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR
Find your balance between what kind of self talk is motivating, + what is damaging. Sometimes there is a fine line between important self-recognition + self-loathing. The good kind of motivation comes from a positive place [such as mindfully skipping dessert when you know you have a great girls night coming up]! Practice talking to yourself as you would the five year old version of yourself — what would you want her to hear?
3] LITTLE VICTORIES ARE STILL VICTORIES
Goals are so essential in every aspect of a CHAARG girl’s life. It is important to remember that the journey to reach your goal takes time — especially if your goal is a fitness goal. A great way to leave the bad vibes behind despite only seeing slow progress is to set short term goals along the way to your *big goal*, ++ reward yourself for each [with treats + positive self-love ; )]. Little victories go far! They hold us accountable, remind us of what we are striving for, + keep us working hard. While they may seem small in the grand scheme of things, the #positivevibes from reaching many attainable goals will push you toward your bigger picture.
4] BREATHE FRESH AIR + TALK TO A FRIEND — FIND YOUR OUTLET
Not only is it hard to fight the urge to put ourselves down, the bad vibes surrounding a mistake often make us feel worse all together. Look for support from a friend or focus on healing from within. This plan is uniquely yours — for some girls, it’s a walk outside, + for others, it could be keeping a journal. Finding an escape that makes us feel safe + comfortable is crucial to releasing the tensions that come along with a setback — which can make a huge difference if it comes up again in the future.
5] TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Each day, do something your future self will thank you for — like a healthy day of meals or a killer HIIT #sweatsesh. Negative thoughts can quickly be shifted to positive when we feel that we’ve done something to better ourselves — even if the results aren’t as obvious as we had once hoped. While studying for an hour longer than usual may not immediately change the situation, we love to be reminded that we are still persevering + taking care of ourselves.
Utilizing these negative experiences + instead treating them as lessons can do more than just radiate positivity — it can lead to an overall happier journey toward your goals!
++Abigail [abigail.inchaarg], Kentucky CHAARG