If You Need Something, Ask For It: Learning How To Ask For Help

Asking for help is hard — we know. Sometimes, we experience challenges + it’s hard — we know. When we do though, we know it’s important to ask for help to rebuild ourselves stronger than ever before.

While simple in theory, why is it so hard to ask for help? Often, as independent young women, we don’t like feeling vulnerable or we fear asking a silly question. Self-love is the first step to altering your perspective to ask for help. Instead of being insecure + thinking you don’t need help, consider yourself brave for acknowledging that you actually need help + guidance to accomplish your goals. You have assessed your needs + are strong enough to work towards them, even with the assistance of others.

You should also be specific when seeking help. Imagine if someone asked you for directions but didn’t tell you where they were headed. It’s difficult, no matter how badly you want to help! Instead of saying, **I need some help,** try asking, **Can I vent to you for a bit to get some things of my chest?** or **Will you show me how to X?** You aren’t being needy. You are helping others help you.

Don’t underestimate the helpfulness of others. Other than a few rotten apples out there, most people love to help! Stop apologizing + remember that we’re all in this together. We all get by with a little help from our friends — old + new!

Here are a few tips on asking for help in different areas of your life —

1] PHYSICAL

If it’s your first #CHAARGBOOTYCAMP, you might be overwhelmed with new lingo + videos of exercises you’ve never seen before [I’m crushing my skull?!]. If something doesn’t make sense to you, ask questions, whether it is Matt Paley in the Facebook group or someone you admire on Insta! Even the top trainers in the world are constantly learning + asking more questions, so never feel like you have to have it all figured out right away. Health is a learning process in itself + it’s fun to educate yourself, no matter who you are learning from.

2] EMOTIONAL

It is okay to ask someone, **Can I vent to you? I need to get some things off of my chest.** Friends may not be able to respond right then + there, but sometimes you need to ask for help to process your emotions. Make sure you specify if you need an emotional release or if you want advice. This can avoid sticky situations if you need help swimming + your friend tries to build you an entire boat [i.e. needing to vent, then your friend gives advice you may not have necessarily needed].

3] MENTAL

It’s often most difficult to ask for help with mental health. People around you or society’s stigmas might leave you underestimating your struggles + prevent you from asking for help. While loved ones may not always be certain how to help, there are always professionals willing to help you. Remember, you are not disappointing anyone for seeking help — you are brave!

4] ACADEMIC//PROFESSIONAL

Whether you are a student, or an aspiring #GIRLBOSS [or both!], your professors + supervisors are there to help you. Even if you want to be independent + successful on your own, utilize your resources + see everyday as a learning experience. Your questions might spark other conversations + lead to even further growth or stronger connections with your peers.

5] FINANCIAL

Even if all of your friends + peers seem to have their finances figured out, you are never alone in balancing life financially. You may not want to ask others for monetary assistance, but you can always ask for advice on saving money, budgeting, or paying off your student loans.

As always, show your appreciation for any kind of help + don’t forget to pay it forward! Maybe another CHAARGie aspires to be like you or a stranger asks for directions on the street. What goes around comes around : )

++Mary [@itsmarykfit] // VirtCHAARG Chicago

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