Giving + Receiving Compliments
Journal prompt for ya — Write about a compliment you wish you’d receive… why?
This may seem a bit vain, but think about it — how do you want people to perceive you? Everyone wants to be liked + while it definitely may feel awkward to be showered with compliments… deep inside, it feels good. I looked up people’s favorite compliment they’ve ever received ++ these resonated with me…
“I’ve never met someone like you before.”
“You have inspired me + changed my life.”
“You are so full of life.”
“Your energy is contagious.”
“You are so generous + thoughtful.”
“You are going to be a great mother some day.”
“I want to be your friend.”
We don’t say enough kind things [to ourselves ++ to others], thank people enough, or genuinely compliment others — I’m not sure why. I think it can stem from a variety of reasons — lack of awareness, feeling awkward, insecurities, + even competitiveness.
At the National Retreat, girls had the opportunity to share their CHAARG journey + one of the girls said: “I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you.”
I broke down. I will never forget that moment. [Thank you, Carol.]
A couple weeks ago my sister texted me:
I don’t want to get super emotional + you probably won’t see this for another week because according to your email you don’t check your phone but I wanted to let you know that I’m extremely proud of you + proud to be called your sister. You have come a long way since that night at Universal Studios when I called you selfish [yikes] + I love to see that you are being ~selfish~ in a positive way + working on yourself. I want you to remember that even though you are supposed to care for others, you can’t do that unless you care for yourself first + ultimately you have to put yourself before others [low-key contradicting the Bible but it’s true]. Speaking of, I’m really happy that you have made your faith more of a focus in your life + I truly believe it will only continue to bring more peace. THAT ALL BEING SAID don’t turn too new age + psycho because then you just won’t be fun anymore ; ) but I’m proud of ya sis.
I struggle between selfish + self-care a lot — be it with CHAARG, friends, my personal life. ++ in my pursuit of trying to find the balance, I become guilty because I feel like I’m not doing enough for others. I feel like there’s never enough time to say the things I want to say… ++ do the things I want to do for others. I often forget that a simple text goes a long way — I don’t need to buy someone a grand gift + slave over finding their address in a secret way. This text that I got from my sister was a perfect reminder of that. [Thank you, Maria.]
Yesterday, I was at the grocery store with a friend who said he wasn’t feeling good. ++ I asked if he wanted me to make him a salad, because he probably just had a headache since he hadn’t eaten all day. He said something along the lines of, you are way too nice — where did you get your thoughtfulness from?
I started to actually think about it… who did I get it from? I started tearing up. It’s because I care. Does anyone care about me like I care about them? I know this sounds dramatic + I know it’s not true… ++ sounds selfish//ungrateful, but it’s a narrative I play in my head. I get attached to people — sometimes too much. One of my greatest fears is: If I’m not needed, then I’m not loved.++ even as of lately, I don’t belong anywhere.
I feel a little bit insane sharing these things, but I want to be vulnerable + open up to you. Everyone struggles in some way. Even the people that seem to *have it all*. I am so appreciative of my life + the blessings God has given me… but, fears creep in.
The compliment I wish to receive is: I love you for who you are. You don’t need to change anything. You are doing enough. I’m grateful to have you in my life.
++ a huge HUG to go with the compliment. The power of touch is magical.
Lately in yoga, right before savasana, I wrap myself in a tight ball — like I’m giving myself a huge hug ++ I say those words to myself: “I love you, Elisabeth.” ++ it really does help. While compliments are wonderful, we should not seek outside validation.
All this being said: Give someone a compliment. Maybe even more importantly, give yourself a compliment. ++ please know: I love you for who you are. AND, you belong. I am always here for you.
Rooting for you always,