Building Your Confidence as a Leader
One of the most common things I see in female leaders is the struggle to find their confidence. True confidence radiates from the inside out. Confidence is not the proving, the desperation to be *liked*, the hype that sometimes leaders build showing that they are needed — but it is the quiet stillness in knowing who you are + knowing why you are doing something. Confidence is knowing that not everyone will *like* you as a leader — you will make tough decisions; you will have hard conversations, but you also know yourself + trust yourself to know that all will be okay regardless of the outcomes.
“Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air thinking you are better than everyone else. It’s walking into a room + not having to compare yourself to others in the first place.”
So, how can you build confidence in yourself as a leader?
#1] Authenticity. Know who you are + what your core values are. When you trust that you know who you are at your core — you are able to lead from a place of understanding your why. You can be confident with your decisions knowing that you made them from a place of value – not a place of trying to be well-liked.
Journal Prompt // Spend some time identifying your core-values as a leader. How do you want to be remembered by those around you? Sometimes it’s helpful to imagine your funeral + think of the 3-5 words you would want those in attendance to describe you. Spending time journaling about what you value in life + in yourself is also a great time to make sure your priorities are aligning with your core values!
#2] Openness. When you are open to the idea that every experience you have as a leader is an opportunity, the “come out of nowhere” experiences tend to be a lot more exciting! Be open to feedback + learn how to take all feedback // experiences as *constructive* [building you up] rather than destructive [tearing you down]. When you learn to flip the narrative in your head that there are things to be scared of as a leader, you can open yourself up to experience + lead from a place that transcends fear.
#3] Find a Mentor. When you’re building your confidence, it’s important you have someone to confide in ++ go to in order to help make sure you are seeing situations + experiences in their complete picture. Have a mentor who has been in a similar place to where you are ++ can share wisdom + insights from things they’ve learned! This is also a great person to discuss core values with ++ really *refine your why* with.
#4] Treat + See Yourself as an Equal. So often, when I see a leader struggling to find their confidence it’s because they are not treating themselves + their teammates with equality. Developing self-awareness ++ being able to recognize when you are beating yourself up [or maybe being too hard on a teammate] will build your confidence + allow you to speak from a place of confidence + equality rather than a place of authority or a place of fear.
#5] Practice Self-Kindness. The best leaders practice loving-kindness. When you are able to be kind to yourself despite outcomes of decisions you’ve made, you learn to lead from a place of secure identity rather than projecting your self-worth on to how a project goes or if a goal is reached. This also allows you to objectively look at experiences + find the good in them ++ how you can use them to grow!