BYOC — Bring Your Own Confidence ; )
Imposter syndrome [the feeling of being far less competent than as seen by others] is becoming more common for everyone of all ages + levels. You feel like a phony + fear that at any moment, your authentic self [that isn’t good enough] will be exposed.
You may never feel old enough. Experienced enough. Good enough. You may never feel ready to step outside your comfort zone. But, that shouldn’t hold you back from reaching for your dreams.
Build Your Confidence with Small Wins
Even if you’re not experienced enough, reaching for that extra step will force you to realize what steps you still need to actually get there. Those baby steps [or big leaps!] will be you need to feel confident. Then, once you hit that level, you’ll find yourself reaching for that next goal. You’ll pause to think, “WOW. I did that?!”
Sometimes, we see ourselves slightly less than what others see us, so it’s important to give ourselves that extra little push + celebrate those small wins.
When you’re scared or feeling anxious, I try to imagine both the worst + best case scenario. When you imagine the worst, you often realize how silly your fears may be. You can acknowledge what is actually within your control + what you can do to prepare. Worried you’ll forget something? Pack your bag the night before. Afraid you’ll say the wrong thing? Practice with a friend or in front of the mirror. While you can’t control every little thing, you’ll ensure you’re feeling your most confident self under pressure.
When you imagine the best, you realize that it’s not crazy life-changing either. While it may be ideal, it might be closer in reach than you expected.
Dream Bigger than Your Fears
Still, when you imagine the best case scenario, you start to think big. For sometimes being cynical, my family + friends always remind me that my imagination can get a little out of hand. It’s not all rainbows + unicorns, but why can’t we still have some unicorns? When you get that giddy feeling where you’re excited regardless of anxious worries, you’ll still have blast. Once that moment actually comes, you’ll be present + enjoying it!
Then, you must internalize those good experiences instead of holding onto the bad.
By definition, anxiety is a feeling of worry about uncertain outcomes. The bad news? Absolutely nothing is in your control. The good news? Nothing is under control for anyone!
We all must learn to shift our internal narrative. Some people may have the devil on one shoulder + an angel on the other, but more + more, people are struggling with the anxious little bugger on their feet, holding them back.
Anxiety disorder affects at least 18% of the United States, ++ anxiety affects most people at some point, so you aren’t alone. While you may be worried about what others think of you, your personality, your performance, or literally anything about you, they’re likely worried about themselves. We’re all trying to control our own worlds to avoid pain + seek happiness, but the fear of the unknown can be severely debilitating.
Shift the Fear Narratives
When you shift that narrative around your fears, you start to build confidence to create action.
What if I don’t get the job? Realistically, if you don’t, you can say you did your best + trust that it wasn’t the best fit for you anyway. Well, what if you do?
What if your crush ghosts you? Well, it may hurt, but they were probably dealing with their own ~ish~ + not good for you anyway.
We often ask for others advice when we’re afraid to own our own confidence. We ask for permission to live our best lives when really, we could have done it all along. I like to think that if I wouldn’t want to trade places with someone, I wouldn’t ask them for advice. Still, even if you would trade lives with someone, what advice would you give yourself? Do you already know the answer to your own concerns?
Hint — you probably already do ; )
Own Your Authentic Self
Sometimes, you do have to fake it ‘til you make it. BUT, you need to constantly reflect on who you deeply are. If you didn’t have a resume, an appearance, a *brand* — who would you be? Would you still be you regardless of your status? Journaling + meditation are great ways to feel more centered with who you are. You still want to honor you — the amazing person that you are!
Don’t be afraid to be your own hype girl, ++ definitely don’t be afraid to bring your own confidence!