Making others happy can give you a certain sense of pride + accomplishment that doesn’t compare to anything else. However, there’s a big difference between extending a helping hand + letting someone walk all over you. It’s time we *step back* + take a moment to think about what we’re doing for others versus what we’re doing for ourselves. Ever question whether or not you’re a people pleaser? These tell-tale signs might indicate you need to prioritize yourself.
1] YOU HAVE TROUBLE MAKING DECISIONS
Even questions such as “Where do you want to go to dinner?” can be too difficult. Your response always seems to be, “I don’t care, you pick!” Sure, sometimes you may not have a preference, but even on the times you do, you’d much rather have someone else get what they want.
2] YOU FEEL OVERWHELMED WITH ALL OF THE WORK YOU HAVE
As college students, heavy workloads seem to be a given. But have you ever taken the time to think about how much of that work is truly yours? Think about how many of those to-do list items are essential for you + you only. You may find that others requests are hindering your progress. Try organizing each item based upon its importance in *your* life, not someone else’s.
3] YOU STRUGGLE TO SAY NO
This may especially hard for you when it comes to your friends. Requests such as, *Can you give me the notes I missed last week?* or *Can I borrow your car tomorrow night?* may leave you feeling uneasy. Sure, it’s awesome when you’re able to help out, but when favors become more personal, that’s when things can get complicated. Realize that sometimes it’s okay to say no. Think about what you want + need, then make decisions based upon these factors.
4] YOU’RE CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT OTHERS’ FEELINGS
There are countless times you’ve thought to yourself, “Okay but if I say no I might hurt them,” or “I don’t really want to, but I don’t want them to be mad at me.” Sometimes, it can be difficult to wonder whether or not you let someone down. It’s completely reasonable to think about your friend’s feelings, but what happens when saving theirs means hurting yours? Try to find a balance between the two. No, she can’t take your car, but you’d be more than happy to drop her off wherever she needs to go : )
5] YOU RELY ON OTHERS OPINIONS TOO MUCH
In today’s world, it’s incredibly difficult not to care about what others think of you. Humans are sympathetic + it’s almost instilled in us to be people-pleasers. The harsh reality is that not everyone has to love you + not everyone will! You saying no to one small favor does not mean that you’re a bad person. It means that you understand what is best for you + what your time currently allows. Don’t let naysayers impact your happiness because girl, that’s all *yours.*
6] YOU’RE A PERFECTIONIST
Low + behold, the very trait that can be so beneficial, yet so harmful. Sometimes being a perfectionist is not as great as we like to believe. Contrary to what society may lead you to think, you don’t need to have everything together 24/7. Not everyone needs your expertise, especially those who are simply taking advantage of it. You need to #treatyoself ; ) instead of always working to treat others.
What you do for others does not define the kind of person you are. Putting yourself first every once in awhile doesn’t mean you’re selfish. It means you care about your well-being + are strong enough to focus on what’s best for you! If you take a step back + sort out your priorities, you may find that telling others *no* could remove some stress from your daily routine. If it’s something you love to do + if doing it would make you happy, then of course, do it! Simply make sure to draw the line between pleasing others + sacrificing your own *happiness.* : )
++ Katie [kk_inchaarg] // Michigan State University