He threatened me. The guy I had chosen to date, love + live with had threatened me. I was scared. I was hopeless. I was weak. It is very, very hard from seeing yourself as a strong, independent, beautiful woman to feeling like a weak, terrified girl trying to get away.
In the spirit of not going into detail, the fight left me couch surfing for weeks, living out of my car + struggling to keep my head above the water. The gym was not my top priority for the first time in quite a while.
I could tell. My negative self-talk was coming back full swing, my body was changing + I wasn’t the happy, healthy person I had been for so long. As much as this time in my life was a struggle, I do appreciate it because it gave me a chance to realize how much the gym [+++ CHAARG!] impact my life + how lost I’d be without them.
So the Fall Fit Plan rolled around. It was my 4th, but I had never finished one. During Week 3, I always *fall off the wagon* + lose my motivation. Life, school + all sorts of other excuses would pile up + I never took the final Fit Test. + After my last few weeks, I didn’t think that this Fit Plan would be any different.
But it was. I chose a workout buddy to complete every workout with [+ ended up with a best friend//roommate because of it : )] + we scheduled our workouts every Sunday. When we didn’t want to go, we encouraged each other. When we wanted to skip parts, we convinced each other. When we engaged in negative self-talk, we stopped each other. We did it. We finished it! ++ I have never felt more beautiful, strong, worthy, inspired + happy.
For so long, I had lived with the idea not that I wasn’t not good enough, but that I was just good enough. I thought of myself as just barely enough. I wasn’t unhealthy but I wasn’t fit. My relationship wasn’t good but I figured it was the best I could do. I liked myself but didn’t love myself. I was just enough. Just barely enough.
This Fall Fit Plan changed that. I have stopped thinking that I am just here, that I am just average enough to stay afloat, because I don’t care what I look like. I am beautiful + I am working hard every single damn day to make myself happier + healthier… Not *skinnier.* I don’t care who the guy is, I am worth more than being scared + feeling weak because of him. I can do better + I will do better + I am worth being loved + cared for. The strength in my mind + the sweat on my clothes while I do a minute of jump squats or do 48 flights on the stairmaster have caused me to fall in love with myself because I am working, I am trying + I am BEAUTIFUL.
This Fall Fit Plan has done more than change my body. It has changed my mind + my perception of myself + I have never been in a better place.
*Let CHAARG change your life, because it will.*